Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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