After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
