so let's talk penis.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
