The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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