i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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