so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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