using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
time to smoke my breakfast
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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