in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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