U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
