i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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