i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
