So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
