Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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