I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
