he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
