i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
