I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
