How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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