at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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