i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
