Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
