She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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