In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
