Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
