he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
