Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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