HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
