so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
