before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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