he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
