i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
