I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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