my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
