i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
