We won't sleep together?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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