God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
