OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
