Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my sisters under your porch take her home
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
