K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
