I think i peed on brittanys purse
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
