I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
