I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
