Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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