check it out our google latitudes are spooning
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
