I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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