yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
