I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
