But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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