That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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