Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
