I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Porn is love you can see.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
