hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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