Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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