Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize