Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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