You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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